you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
