what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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