If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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