WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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