Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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