Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
