Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
