Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
