Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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