well you can't waste a boner
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
