I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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