Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
