i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
