New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
