Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
