one might say we're banned from that church
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
