You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
