hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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