I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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