hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
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