i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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