The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
