ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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