WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
