i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
