he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
