I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
