You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
