I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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