Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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