man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
send nudes
from the living room?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
