I wish I could teleport
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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