I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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