dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
