my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
