if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
