I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
