I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
