I just cut my nipple shaving
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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