I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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