So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
