my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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