My nipple is on Facebook.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
