I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i drank out of a bidet.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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