so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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