Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Randomize
