Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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