It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
