You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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