What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
